Citizenship In A Time Of Uncertainty
The Age
Tuesday November 20, 2007
Last November I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma. I demanded to know how long I had."
Three to six months", one doctor replied. "You should get your house in order," another declared. Eleven months later I'm doing OK. A range of treatments, daily meditation, plenty of support and a strong desire to manage my own health seem to be working.I'm living with, not dying from, cancer. I'm not out of the woods yet but I can see beyond the trees.However, with such a diagnosis there comes a sense of disconnection, not just from friends, family and society but also from one's own self. If, as L. P.Hartley wrote, "The past is a foreign country", then the disconnected present that comes with terminal illness is surely another planet. So, after living in Australia for 38 of my 53 years I decided to do something about anchoring myself to my place on planet Earth. I have become an Australian citizen. At a time when I feel a palpable sense of unbelonging, I want to belong to this country in which I live and from which I have benefited.In many ways I have been getting my house in order. I've reorganised my finances, filing systems and even friendships. I've done this not because I'm expecting an exit but because it is in fact a better way to live. Securing of citizenship has been the most significant step in my new personal order. It was sheer luck that my application was processed just before the offensive new citizenship test came into being because I know nothing about cricket or horse racing.I am, of course, very privileged. As a permanent resident I enjoyed most of the benefits that come with citizenship. All I've had to endure is additional paperwork every time I leave the country. I'm acutely aware of just how different it must be for the 20 million around the world who are desperate for citizenship in one place because they have been forcibly dispossessed from another. Indeed my own mother, a Jewish refugee from Nazi Europe, is only alive today because she was granted refugee status and later citizenship in England, where I was born.I've always regarded ritual as an important part of belonging so I had no objection to attending the citizenship ceremony where I received my certifi- cate and an Australian shrub. As I now look at my drought-affected garden and wonder where to plant my shrub, I find myself reflecting on what it means to have consciously secured a right of belonging to a nation state. I have no desire to fly the flag or sing the anthem. But I am surprised that citizenship has helped ground me at a time when the ground has been swept from under me. At the same time, however, I feel uncomfortable about the direction of this nation I have now joined.In 1917, Bertrand Russell wrote, "A modern nation state is so vast and its machinery so little understood that even when a man has a vote he does not feel himself any effective part of the force which determines its policy."I believe this remains true for today, not just for the nation state but also for the human body, particularly when it is under siege. The body is complex and hard to understand. And when you feel betrayed by it, it is too easy to abdicate control. With cancer comes a whole new language. Sometimes this language is frighteningly familiar because it mirrors the language of fear and terrorism. I've learnt that my body contains sleeper cells that, for reasons no one really understands, sometimes wake up and cause terror.The treatment can be akin to a weapon of mass destruction. Belonging to my body and to the nation state necessitates a commitment to understanding how things work and to being proactive in daily living. As far as my body is concerned, I'm trying make informed choices so that it can do what I believe all bodies naturally do, that is, tend towards a state of wellbeing.As far as the nation state is concerned, it isn't perfect - no nation is - but my sense of belonging would be greatly enhanced if we had true leadership instead of myopic managerialism that is hell-bent on conserving its own power base. Our current Government continues to promote conspicuous consumption while undervaluing education and demonising difference.I am learning to belong to a body that is raging terror on itself and so far I seem to be keeping the terrorists at bay. But I do not separate this state of being from the state to which I now belong. And if only this nation state could be more proactive towards its long-term future, then I'd feel better about planting my shrub and watching it grow.Dr Peter Davis is a writer/ photographer and a senior lecturer in the school of communication and creative arts at Deakin University.davisp@deakin.edu.au
© 2007 The Age